KaliTime Camaralzman (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ridigitalfic) wrote,@ 2007-12-06 01:26:00 |
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| Current mood: |  bored |
| Current music: | Imaginary Music for the Pee Dance |
| Entry tags: | 19 may 2002, comedy, fanfiction, freewrite, humor, xena |
Xena - World Cup Soccer Head of Eve Spoof
I first wrote this in May of 2002. Late nights and no sex life lead a body to be quite creative. Whether this shows a gift for talent...is up in the air.
*Opening scene*
Livia/Eve as usual won't shut up with the "I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli" routine and everyones nerves are just a bit frayed. Xena begins to think regret that she killed the Gods off for the life of her daughter. Ares is still angling for Xenas body (with a bit of Gabrielle on the side). Mephistopheles has a plan but waits to see how it will all go with everyone else....
Scene 1: Former Temple of Ares now dedicated to the followers of Eli in a somewhat shady takeover....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Mephistopheles: Oh shut up, like it's really working!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Mephistopheles: Xena, do you admit being this idiots mother?
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Xena: If I have to....I should have let Gabrielle keep Hope alive....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Gabrielle: *thinking to herself* Where in Hades are those Furies when we need them...Oh wait, we killed Hades... damn it!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Ares: I gave up my Immortality for THIS?
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Ghost of Hades: It almost makes me wish I could feel the torments of Tartarus.....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Callistos spirit from somewhere deep inside Livia/Eve: What the f*** was I thinking to come back as this b****?!?!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Eli from Heaven: OK Eve dear, it's time to tone it down a bit...
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Eli: SHUT THE F*** UP YOU TWISTED B****!!!!!!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Octavius: Thank the Gods I DIDN'T marry her!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Everyone in heaven, hell, earth, and inbetween as well as other universes and all things that can be answered by The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: SHUT THE F*** UP, YOU STUPID B****!!!!!
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Ares: Xena, do you think she's still the precious little girl you left all those years ago?
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Xena: Give me my sword.....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Gabrielle: Give me my little stick....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Eli: Give me strength....(and to Gabrielle) I could work better than your little stick you know....
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Ghost of Hades: Give me a break already, would you?!!?
Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
*Xena swings her sword, cutting the head off her daughter*
Head of Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
*The Energizer bunny passes by this scene and seeing that Livia/Eve can outlast him, he rolls off the nearest Roman bridge to his death*
Head of Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
*Womens US Soccer team joins the rest of the world in kicking the Head of Livia/ Eve around*
Head of Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Valaska: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Head of Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
Mephistopheles: Yo, Brandi! Kick her my way!
Head of Livia/Eve: I denounce this evil in the name and spirit of Eli
*Mephistopheles kicks a winning goal over the head of the Brazilian goalie*
Head of Livia/Eve: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Everyone: *Sigh of relief*
Xena: Finally, we got her to shut up. Where's Ares, we've got to be able to do better than that as far as a kid....
*Ending theme*
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